Tabula Rasa
by Terminal lance
Summary: Death comes for us all in the end but for some we have a second chance. My mind a blank slate I try to find out who I am, haunted by my dark past that I don't know. I was told it would have been better if I had just died in the dessert, justice for my sin
1. Chapter 1

This is the short intro to my fallout story, _Tabalu rasa_, it would have written a longer intro but that would have ruined the feel. While it is the same intro to the game and the main character is courier, they story will not be the same but will follow some of the main plot and there will be many characters from the games as well as OCs. This story will also some of the best mods from the fallout nexus into the game, to any one who is a Modder whose mod is used in the story I mean to take absolutely no credit and when a mod first appears in the story I will put a credit to the mods author in the chapter. Also the story will go up to M but will remain T for a time a the beginning so that awarness is raised, so there will be no mature content in the first chapters. As always please read and review.

My eyes snapped opened as the feeling of the cold night wind as it raced over my face and whirred in my ears. From the feeling of cold on my left cheek I knew that I was lying on my side. My eyes darted between the sights around me as the warmth from a small fire warmed my face. Three men stood in front of me facing away, talking loudly about something I could care less about. Scanning my surroundings further the details of the situation began to arise. The three men were part of the khans, the distinctive markings on the black leather vests gave them away. The dull throbbing that seeped into the muscles of my legs told me that I had taken a bullet in my right calf; I could feel the warm puddle of blood around my leg. A sting sensation burned in my wrists, a glance reviled rope wound around them tightly. Dirt and blood caked my hands; the usual white skin was stained and streaked with mud that had gathered in rivers on the surface of my skin. A few feet away from me I observed a body of a man, the stench that permeated the cool air of the desert night told me of his condition. _Explains the blood_ I thought as I looked up at the moon, its pale glow making the shadows from the fires flames dance around the men. I did my best to remain silent as I pulled my wounded leg in but I let out a slight grunt causing the men to turn as I groaned through the pain as I pulled myself to my knees. I raised my head looking up at them, it took more effort than it should have,_ god I am so tired. _

"Well, looks like he got some fight left in him after all" one of the man sneered "you know I was all for cutting your fucking head off for what you did to Mitch but the boss said no"

I didn't answer; I felt no sympathy for the man who I had killed whose remains lay only a few meters away. The noise of footsteps made my ears perk up as the dirt crunched from behind me, they stopped just behind me. A hand rested on my shoulder for a second, I could hear the owner of the hand let out a sigh behind me. I looked down at to my left willing myself as much as I could to stay awake, my eyes rested on a pair of black shoes. The fires light danced on them for a second before they moved and I followed with my eyes as a man walked in front of me. He wore a checkered suit, with gray pants were slightly dusty and he wore a look of sympathy on his face as he looked at me. His black hair rustled a bit in the wind, the brim of my hat shook slightly in the cool breeze.

The man pulled out a shiny round object from a jacket pocket. I squinted at it and realized that it was a poker chip, its silver color bounced light off it as he twisted it in his fingers. The dancing silver light left as he replaced it in his pocket, I closed my eyes as another cool breeze caressed my dirt encrusted left cheek. The click of a lighter resounded over the crackle of the fire, the scent of burning tobacco fluttered around my nose. I opened my eyes to the see the man closing a lighter and a burning cigarette held in his lips as a small stream of smoke drifted from his mouth. He turned away, I stared at his back wondering when he would finally decide that it was time to send me to meet my maker for I knew that was their intention and to be frank I had it coming. The man in the suit sighed as he dropped the cigarette and crushed it under his shoe before turning back to face me.

"Time to cash out" he said still looking at me.

"Will you get it over with" a khan to my left said.

"Maybe Khans kill people with out looking them in the face" He said holding up a finger as he spoke condescendingly towards the man "but Im no fink, dig?" as he reached in to his jacket an pulled the coin back out and held it up.

"You made your last delivery friend" He said confirming to me that they had been after the package I was carrying. He replaced the chip into his jackets pocket; I could here the faint howl of a coyote in the distance.

"Sorry you got twisted up in this scene" He said as he drew a pistol from inside his jacket. Its polished nickel frame gleamed in the moonlight; the engraving in it seemed like dark lines on the surface of ice. He leveled the barrel at my head, the black opening of the guns muzzle meet my eyes. _And they say that gates to hell are as black as night_ I thought as I looked the man in the eye. The Khans shifted were they stood, the sound of the dirt being moved as they shuffled their feet uncomfortably. One of the khans tightened the grip on his rifle, the wood grip creaked a bit as he did.

"From where you're kneeling this must seem like an eighteen karat run of bad luck" He said before I spoke for the last time.

"Just make it quick, I have had this coming for a long time" I said accepting that I would finally pay for all my wrongs. He nodded; the khans looked around with a wild excited look in their eyes as though this was something exciting to them. I could see one of the gangsters smile at me out of the corner of my eye as I stared down the tunnel that would lead to oblivion.

"The truth is the game was rigged from the start" the man said before a bright flash filled my eyes and I knew nothing more.


	2. Chapter 2

My head was throbbing as I a felt feeling seep back into my limbs, voices echoed around me. My attempts to listen was pointless as I couldn't make out what any of them were saying, I grimaced as the worst pain I had ever experienced began to thrash around in my head like a wild animal was trying to get out. A clinched my hands into to tight fists as the pain ran through my system, the nails dug in deep enough to draw blood. My body lay on whatever red hot searing pain raced through my veins, _if this is hell I should have been more religious _I thought to myself as it felt like some one had hit my head with an axe. My hand reached out straining to grab a hold of something, a memory of anything but nothing was there, the roaring noise and pain made so that I couldn't even think through the head hot pain. _I need to find out where I am_ I thought as my hand finally grabbed a hold of a bar and pulled my self to a sitting position. As I swung my legs to the off what my best guess could concluded was a small bed they felt like two logs. My head erupted in another explosion of pain as I moved; I dropped my head into one of my hands. I tried to relive the pain by rubbing my head, I did nothing to help. I could finally pick out one of the ghostly voices that filled my ears.

"On your feet son, you're not ready to die yet" a ghostly male voice said, I felt compelled to obey it and so I did my best to stand. My bare feet touched down on a wooden floor, _when did I lose my boots? _I asked myself as I steadied myself with a hand on the bed, my fingers landed in something that was warm and wet. A smell of iron reached my nose and from what instinct told me the answer was obvious, my hand was resting in a pool of blood.

"Open your eyes, if you can't pick out targets you are completely useless to us" a female voice said breaking through the sea of noise. My head rose up slowly, it felt as if my head weighed a ton and half, the joints in my neck popped as my chin leveled itself with the floor. The lid of my left eye slid open, my vision was hazy and brightly colored lines of light raced around the room, ghostly apparitions of people stood around watching me. My right hand fell from my face and I could see around the room, it was obvious that the room was used as a clinic. Glancing back slowly my eyes landed on the pool of blood that my left hand rested in. My vision flashed red along with another stab of pain the seemed to drill straight into the back of my head. I stood as steady as I could, will my body to work more my left hand drifted up to my eyes. My fingers danced slightly as blood dripped off of them splashing on my fingers and the floor. The sound of someone else moving was barley discernable above the ocean of sound, my gaze drifted to where it had come from. My knees felt like a rusty metal joint breaking open after years of neglect as my right foot stepped foreword. Nearly losing my balance I was forced to grab a light stand to my right.

"Get your ass in gear!" a voice yelled over the raging waves of sound that braked on my ears. Pain shoot through my nerves as my spine straightened up as I stood tall, my vision was flashing orange as the ghostly people still watched me like I was some sort of side show exhibition. My legs stumbled foreword slowly as my hand reached out for the door jam of the clinic, I slammed into the wooden beam with my left shoulder causing my vision to flash white as agony did another loop through my body. Blinking to clear my vision from the image of the hallway had been burned into my eyes I could hear a chair moving. A light pressure suddenly pressed on to my shoulder, if I was able to I would have jumped. I didn't know what had happened as my body seemed to carry itself on instinct as I wiped around, pain a quickly discarded excuse to not take action now it seemed. My hand quickly grabbed what had landed on my shoulder which was a man's hand; I look of surprise on his face as I did. My body moved on instinct as I pulled his arm past me, my fist connecting with his face. With two quick knees he doubled over, something in the depths of my mind saw the opportunity so my elbow slammed down into his back. Through my per phial vision I could see a few of the ghostly figures nodding in approval while others shook their heads in disgust. It didn't matter as my body detached from my mind continued it's violent out burst. My right hand dropped the mans arm as my right foot stomped the back of his knee causing him to collapse down to the ground, my right foot swung around as I heard a noise of a door opening and running footsteps. Stepping around the mans head so my thigh rested against his neck I than squatted down choking him with my right leg as my hands grabbed the pistol that was strapped to his leg and drew it pointing it at the doorway as another man appeared. I only caught a glimpse as he dove back around the doorway as my finger on its own accord fired two quick shots. I kept the weapon trained on the doorway, my body was still raging with pain but I felt like something else had taken hold of my body and it was not my own. The animal shrugged of the pain as I watched through my eyes as my body acted on its accord. My legs straightened up and I pointed the gun at the man who the beast had just assaulted, I felt sympathy looking through eyes that belonged to whatever had been buried deep within my mind. The man was older and balding, he was gasping for breath and trying to sit up but before I could protest my foot connected with his chest. I ran from the room into the hall, the woman that I had seen dive around the corner. She had brought a rifle and raised it up at me. My left hand pushed it into her chest as my right guided the pistol until I connected with her stomach and I pulled the trigger twice. She screamed as the rounds tore through her body but when the beast that controlled my body took a hold of me slammed my elbow into her face she crumpled silent. My legs ran to the door, pain wracked my body as I slammed through the door and it stumbled outside, a small town stretched out in front of me. I raised my hand with the pistol to block out the sun I gasped for breath between the spikes of pain. My arms fell to my side and the pistol dropped from my grass as my eyes looked out across the desert that stretched before me. The image was beautiful yet terrible at the same time but my vision went black when something slammed into my head and I lay face down on the desert sand. I heard voices of people talking over the ghostly voices that echoed in the sea of noise that was raging in my ears.

"Doc, you okay?" A man yelled.

"Im fine, im working on Sunny's wounds at the moment" I heard a man yell back "She will be fine"

"I got the son of a bitch; you should let me kill him"

"No, he woke up in a strange place. I can hardly blame him for what he did"

The two voices talked more but my senses faded as I fell into blackness.

My eyes opened again, there was no pain this time just a steady ache. My vision was normal, no ghosts or flashing lights just the fan that was on the ceiling slowly going round and around in a circle. I sat up my head swimming as I did, I felt a hand on my shoulder as I set up and a comforting voice reached my ears.

"Whoa easy there" The old man said. I looked at him and could tell that his nose was broken from the bruising around it "you did a lot of damage a few days ago"

I grimaced as the memory of what I had done came back to me, it took me a second but I found my voice.

"I am sorry, is everyone okay?" I said slowly, forming words felt a little foreign.

"Yes, Sunny is tough so she can shrug those wounds of and well I have had worse" The doctor said "Im doc Mitchell" I nodded to him "Lets see what that bullet did to you, can you tell me your name?"

I thought about it¸ _name, name, what is my name_ the more I thought, the more my head hurt but I felt determined to find something in my memories but I couldn't think of it or anything for that matter. I closed my eyes as I dug deeper into my mind but nothing came to surface.

"I don't know, I can't remember anything!" I yelled out. Doc Mitchell placed a hand on my shoulder comforting me.

"It's alright sun, but we got to call you something" doc said. I thought harder until a fragment of a memory came to me. I saw an office of some kind with a large hutch that had a lot of slots in it that held envelopes. The man behind the desk looked at me and passed a package. There was a form on the package, he smiled at me as I took the form and looked down at the line where it said sign name and looked back at him. _"No names" _I told him, he chuckled in response. "_Ok, then just sign with your courier number"_ I nodded before inscribing a six on the line. I opened my eyes and saw the doc looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Six, call me Six"

"Not what I would have picked but fair enough" doc said grabbing a mirror and handing it to me "Six will do. I take pride in my needle work so make sure everything is in its proper place"

I took the mirror and for the first time I could remember I looked upon my face. The mirror was surprisingly clean; I examined the face in the glass. I had an average looking face that was some what thin, a small scar was barley visible on my left cheek. My jaw line was sharp with high cheek bones that were graced by brown stubble. My hair was brown and medium in length for a man; it was slightly disheveled from being on the bed. The thing that drew my gaze though was my eyes; I stared into them and felt as if I was staring into my own soul. I knew that my eyes weren't normal; my left one is a bright ice blue while its partner, my right eye, was a hazel. I looked up from the mirror at the doctor who sat in his chair waiting patiently.

"My eyes, what is wrong with them?" I asked slowly as I was growing more accustomed to talking again.

"I took me sometime to discover what you have" the doc said as he grabbed a book and opened it to a page that was marked with a slip of paper "It is a condition known as complete Hetrochromia, your eyes function just fine but you have two different iris"

"So I can see just fine?"

"Yes, the condition effects only eye color" The doctor said as he took the mirror and placed it on a table nearby "Here give me your hands"

I hadn't notice it before but my hands had been tied together, I held them out and he cut the rope. I flexed my fingers a bit and the doctor backed up slightly. When he realized that I was not going to attack him he relaxed. He grabbed him arms and started to help me up to my feet.

"No sense keeping you in bed lets see if we can get you on your feet" The doc said as he helped me to my feet. I stood on my feet and straightened up before nodding to the doctor; he placed a hand on my shoulder and helped out of the clinic to a couch where I sat down. The seat was comfortable and I relaxed a little into as the doctor came back with a check board.

"Well, I can personally vouch for your strength and agility after you kicked my ass" He said chuckling "based of the shape you are in I would have to say that you are one of the most fit person I have ever meet"

I nodded to him as he sat down crossing his leg placing the check board on it before asking me another question.

"Can you read the sentence on the plaque behind me?" he asked. My eyes snapped to the plaque he had indicated and I quickly read the sentence.

"I am alpha and omega" I said reading the sentence before the doctor made a note on the board in his lap.

"Well, your vision would be perfect if you can read that" Doc said as he looked up at from his notes "now I am going to see if that bullet didn't leave you nuttier than a bighorner dropping"

"Ok"

"I am going to say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind" the doctor said as I nodded at him.

"Dog"

My vision flashed with a quick ghost from the past flashed as a ghostly dog walked over and jumped on to the couch. It lay down on the couch and placed its head in my lap.

"Companion" I said looking up blinking as my vision faded out.

"House"

"Shelter" I said confidently as the animal that was caged provided the answer to me.

"Night"

My vision flashed as a watched a flash from my memory play out quickly. It was night in the desert and I snuck up behind a man. My hand grasped a knife and before the man could react I drew it across his neck. The animal told me that the night was safe is I was invisible and could kill with out being seen.

"Safety" I said.

"Enemy" the doc said curiously.

The quickness of my answer suppressed me "Kill"

"Light" the doc said a little worried. No memories this time but another snapped answer.

"Danger"

"Mother"

No memories of a mother came to me and I pondered the word for a second before answering the doctor.

"I didn't know mine" I said coldly while still trying to think.

"Okay, im going to say a phrase the would describe some one" doc said "tell me if it sounds like you"

"Alright" I said skeptically. The test seemed stupid to me at this point and I just wanted to leave.

"Conflict is not in my nature"

"Defiantly not" I said remembering how quickly I had attacked him a few days ago.

"I anit given to looking for help"

My mind raced and another flash of memories came up. I sat around a table with men in uniforms talking with them. "_We can have some rangers support you" _one of the men said. _"No, I work alone"_ Came my quick replay and so I told the doc the same thing.

"I anit fixin to be the center of attention"

Another flash, I walked into a large room that was full of people with a woman next to me. Her arm was around mine as we walked through the room watching people at tables play a card game and others playing slots. _"Remember, blend and stay unnoticed" _the woman told me just before the image pulsed and dispersed and I was back in the room with the doctor.

"I like staying unnoticed" I replied my voice portraying no emotion.

"Alright then, I am slow to embrace new ideas"

"I would say no" I said.

"I charge in to deal with my problems"

"Defiantly not" I said quickly "Can we be done with these test, its making my head hurt worse"

"Alright, I can agree to that" Doc said standing "if you go down the hall and into the bedroom, I have your clothes and gear that victor found with you laid out"

"Thanks" I said flatly and stood up from my seat starting towards the hallway. My stride was more confident and better, walking was no longer a problem. The room where my stuff was looked to be fairly average, no over the top sort of things I closed the door and walked around the room examining stuff for a bit. I stopped at the bed and examined the clothing that was laid out before starting to put it on over the shorts that I had been wearing while the doc worked on me. The black pants went on first followed by a white button up shirt with rolled sleeves. Black combat boots followed before I started to grab the gear. The belt I wore had a leg holster hanging off of it with one on the belt which would rest on my left hip. Numerous pouches burdened it further and I strapped the belt on quickly doing the buckles up on the leg holster. The belt rattled from the ammo that was storied in the belt for the two pistols that rested next to a jacket and sniper rifle on the bed. One of them was a colt 1911 with a suppressor that I picked up and from the weigh knew was loaded with a full magazine. The gun slid with out effort into the holster strapped around my leg. My left hand grasped the grip of the other pistol; this one drew my attention a lot more. The gun was a solid black revolver; it fit my hand like a glove and was the perfect weight. Gold engraving decorated the gun making it look ornate, its grip was made from bone that was as white as paper. Flicking the release the chamber rolled out of the gun and I could see six round resting in their appropriate places. The inscription on the back read 45-70 gov't; I smiled as I flicked the cylinder back in place and slid the gun into its holster. I didn't know why but the weight of that gun felt very good on my hip, like the feeling one gets when coming home. As I pulled the brown leather jacket on a realization hit me that its weight was more than should be expected as it landed on my shoulders. I patted the jackets pockets down and found that they held magazines for the sniper rifle that rested on the bed. Shrugging I grabbed the rifle by the sling and tossed over my shoulder there was nothing left on the bed but I had a feeling something was missing. My hand jumped to my head which I rubbed before scratching my head looking around the room. On a stand has a brown, oilskin hat which I snatched quickly and put on my head, a feeling of completeness came over me when it rested on my head. As I gripped the door handle I reached down and grabbed a messenger bag quickly throwing it over on shoulder. Cans and bottles clucked inside as I opened the door and stepped back into the hall making my way towards the front of the house. The doc was waiting at the front door for me, he held out his hand which a gave a quick shake.

"I don't know where you are headed but I would talk with victor the robot who found you" Doc said "he could give you a lead to helping get your memory back, from our short conversation I can tell that shot the noggin gave you a sever case of amnesia"

"Thank you" I replied flatly as I opened the door.

"Also visit Trudy in the saloon; she may have work for you"

I didn't say anything and just stepped out of the house, the first step on my journey to discover who I was and how I could find redemption I didn't know I needed.


End file.
